All these years passed like a swinging sway at some place unknown, with each back rise, an abrupt downfall and after a comedown, a surprising up rise… yet the curls of change screw us hard, may there be a reason or none.
Amidst these, I lived my life around a picture, and I tried not to change inside out!
Yea, fantasized is the word solely defined for me. As per Sigmund Freud’s theory, my Id (the uncoordinated instinctual trends of my psyche) was also employed with the same Pleasure Principle. In his words, the id wants whatever feels good at the time, with no consideration for the reality of the situation. Dreaming day and night of my illusions was my involuntary acquired behavioral pattern. As they say, “When the id wants something, nothing else is important.” So dreaming… uh… Dreams that conveyed something; dreams that put me into long paused thoughts; dreams that kissed me high; dreams that dimmed me out; dreams that made me murky at times; dreams that ripped me low. I was lost in zillion such dreams that completely haunted my desires. Desires of a child; desires of a teen; and now the desires of a major.
In subsequent years, getting across people, I ripened my ego! A few namesake friends and I stood utterly preoccupied in me myself! Never annoyed about other’s say; could never care less for the selfish world, but only for the self. Conversed with those with the blues and ending the talk with my elongated preaches. Yes… that’s an intended act. (Yea… I know… it’s…oh em gee!!)
In search of a comfort zone, I searched for an alter ego. And I found a Zilch! As living such unconsciously, the majority of my experiences, the underlying emotions, beliefs, feelings, impulses and anything that drives me are buried in my unconscious. While buried there, however, they continue to impact me dramatically.
That is why, at any given time, people are only aware of a very small part of what makes up my personality; most of what I am is buried and inaccessible.
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Comment: by Lifehouse: get my song…
And it’s all
To the wind
It’s all
In our heads
And we break
And we burn
And we turn it inside out
To take it back
To the start
And through the rise and falling apart
We discover who we are
